A Mutual Friend

Last week, I was eating my lunch in the campus cafeteria. At my round, gray table was a girl that I didn't know. For a long time, we sat and ate without speaking to or even looking at each other. Suddenly, one of my friends came to the table and greeted me warmly. The other girl looked up. "You two know each other?" she said. It turned out that we both knew my friend. She introduced us to each other, and we three had a wonderful time of chatting together. The other girl was beautiful, smart, and friendly, and shared many of my opinions, but I would never have known any of that if our mutual friend had not come along.

A few days later, I was again sitting in the cafeteria, eating my lunch at a table with another girl that I didn't know. The same performance of concentrating intently on anything but each other's face was repeated, until the other girl, who had come before me, left. For a while, I sat alone, with a strange sense of loss. No mutual friend had come. I would probably never know who the other girl was, or what she was like. Suddenly, another girl came to the table with a smile and an outstretched right hand. She introduced herself before she even sat down. Pleasantly surprised, I gave her my hand, my name, and my smile in return. The girl sat down and began to talk freely, but unassumingly, about herself. I couldn't figure her out. I wondered if she was mentally challenged, then berated myself for thinking such a thing. Soon, I was having a great time again, chatting and laughing with my new friend. We exchanged cell phone numbers and parted in warmth and friendship.

Later that afternoon, riding home on the bus, I thought back on that meeting. I would never have had the nerve to speak first. Even now, I thought, glancing around at the people on the bus, I don't even dare to make eye contact for more than a millisecond with anyone I don't know. What am I so afraid of? Am I afraid of what people will think of me? After all, I thought that my new friend's childlike openness bespoke the mind of a child. Maybe I was afraid that people would think the same of me. But isn't it desirable to be open, frank, and unafraid of other people's opinion? It may be so, but the fact remains that those are childlike qualities. As children become adolescents and then adults, they become fearful of their peers' possible negative opinion, or the harm that could come to them if they reveal themselves to the world. Of course, some people are more shy and cautious than others, while some people never lose their natural friendliness. After meeting that exceptional young lady, I'm trying to get some of mine back. Hopefully, the next time I'm faced with a shy stranger, I won't wait for a mutual friend to introduce us.